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Nick Offerman Breaks, Or At Least Dings, The Internet By Carving Wooden Emojis Into The Real World

Nick Offerman demonstrates his woodcutting skills and web-savviness simultaneously in a bit on Conan.

If the Internet had to describe Nick Offerman in one word it would probably be heart-face. This week, the Parks and Recreation star went on Conan and proved that the feeling is mutual.

For such an analog guy—Offerman owns and operates a wood shop—the idiosyncratic actor certainly does know his way around the digital world. Or at least, he doesn't mind appearing there: videos featuring Offerman show up as regularly as the changing of the tides. Perhaps its the fact of his tactile-focused nature that makes Offerman such an internet curio leading to world-colliding videos like this one in which he ostensibly carves his recent book out of wood. while that bit may have been a full-on gag, this week's Conan appearance involved some objects that really do bridge the Internet and the physical world: wood cut emojis.

To be specific, they're called "Nick Offerman's Hand-Crafted Wood Emojis," and they're the most impressive web-based symbols you've seen lately. Each one is about a foot in diameter, weighs 14 pounds, and seems like the perfect gift for so many people on your Christmas list if only it were real and not a bit on a TV show. Offerman isn't actually selling these because as the contrast of his persona and this product suggests, he probably actually thinks that emojis are poop-with-eye.

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