Eminem has a history of striving for shock value, often while invoking celebrities. Some of his greatest hits include making sport of Michael J. Fox having Parkinson's disease, calling Kim Kardashian a man, and singing an entire song from the POV of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog for some reason. On his latest opus, the 42-year-old musician continues his tradition of stirring controversy by promising that he would punch Lana Del Rey in the face "twice like Ray Rice." This is to be expected by now, though. The real shock comes when the song is slowed down.
On Monday, the once and always Slim Shady released a video called "Shady CXVPHER Freestyle" to promote his new compilation album. It's a beat-free track, recorded in a domed building that is both magnificent and decrepit—kind of like the artist himself. Eminem is a technical master. He raps with a verbal dexterity that just might be unparalleled, which is why it's all the more sad when you actually hear what he's saying. (Usually, a general anger-volcano about women, the state of hip-hop and Em's place in it.) In any case, one Redditor was eager to hear just what Eminem says during the double-time rap he ends the track with, so he slowed it down. The result? Half-speed Eminem has the strained intonation of Himself-era Bill Cosby.
Perhaps it's because the first thing Eminem says in the slowed-down part is "I'm the rootinest, tootinest, shootinest from the hip," which sort of sounds like what Bill Cosby would say in a cartoon about the Old West. Or maybe it's when he says that he "stiggety-stands for the figgety-flag," which also helps not at all to separate Eminem from Cosbyesque nonsense-speak either. In any case, it's interesting to know that as hard as one might try to sound menacing, it doesn't take much manipulation at all to turn them into a side character from Fat Albert.
Watch the original, un-slowed down video below.
[h/t 22 Words]