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Puma, And Science, Answer The Question: Who Do You Love More—Your Team Or Your Partner?

Agency Droga5 took an age-old sporting question to Bristol University, resulting in perhaps the first ever brand white paper.

If you’re a hardcore football fan, perhaps you’ve always wondered: If you were forced to stick a symbolic, doom-bearing pin in a doll representing your life partner or your football club, which would you choose?

A new study published by footwear and apparel brand Puma provides the definitive, scientific answer to that question and the broader conundrum: When it comes right down to it, do men (the research appears to revolve exclusively around men) love their football club or their mates more?

And in a surprise twist, the wives have it.

As part of a new Puma campaign marking the launch of football (soccer) season, Agency Droga5 commissioned Bristol University to conduct an impartial study to answer the age-old question about sports fans’ true loyalty. The result is an official, no-kidding white paper that will be published in scientific journals. The upshot: that men actually did love their real-life partners five times as much as their team.

The study was conducted on fans of the Newcastle United football club. Researchers measured their true preferences using a range of methods. In one test, they measure bio-feedback after asking subjects to cut in half a picture of their long-suffering wives, or their beloved black-and-white-clad team. In the aforementioned, somewhat creepy, pin test, they were asked to stick pins in a doll: If they chose the doll representing an NU player, he’d be sidelined for the next game; if they chose the doll representing the Mrs., she’d be sidelined with an unspecified illness for a week (watch the video to find out if any of the test subjects is foolish [and, let’s be honest, sort of psychotic] enough to pick the latter).

Watch the video recap below.