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Jay Z And Beyonce Go On The Run In Star-Studded Movie Trailer

If you're the most powerful couple in pop, how do you promote a tour that's already mostly sold out? With a celebrity-packed trailer for a movie that doesn't exist, obviously.

Like all good Americans, we are deeply concerned about the state of Jay Z and Beyonce's marriage. But if the bizarre, extended-length trailer for Run, a movie starring the two of them, as well as, among others, Sean Penn, Don Cheadle, Blake Lively, and Jake Gyllenhaal, that does not actually exist is any indication, everything's good with Jay and Bey. They're on their own, the world doesn't understand them, and everything's still sexy funtimes.

And what sexy funtimes they are! The trailer, which proudly ends on the words "Coming Never," was directed by Melina Matsoukas—a regular part of Beyonce's creative circle who's also helmed videos for Rihanna (including "We Found Love," which bears some similarity to "Run"), Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and more. It features the Carters robbing banks, smoking cigars, and dancing seductively in close-up shots. It's not entirely clear what the exact plot of the non-existent film would be, but we can tell that it involves Sean Penn mentoring Jay Z, Don Cheadle offering a chance for Jay to show off how little shit he takes when he's playing cards, and Blake Lively and Emmy Rossum demonstrating that Beyonce likes to pal around with tough ladies.

It's a frankly kinda crazy trailer for a movie that we really wish actually did exist, if only because talking about that over the next few months would be way more fun than pondering what it was that had Solange so upset in that elevator, and worrying that maybe Jay and Beyonce don't really love each other—but, alas, it seems that the closest we're going to come to "Run" is this trailer, and the tour it promotes. Jay Z and Beyonce are both very good at maintaining a masterful public persona and avoiding ill-considered creative projects (Jay's two-album collaboration with R. Kelly notwithstanding), so putting themselves out there for an actual loopy film in which they rob banks and yell at Don Cheadle probably never was in the cards—but for three minutes and 45 glorious seconds, we can imagine what it might look like if it were.

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